Yes, Aliens Exist But Dinosaurs Do Not. For Serious.

I've educated you readers once with my proof that dinosaurs do not exist. I ranted about the stupidity of religion and how God is a made-up figure used to boast sales of the greatest fictional story of all-time, The Bible. And now, I give you the pleasure of reading "It's not just an opinion, rather a statement of fact because I said it" Volume 3. (Working title) There is such thing as extraterrestrial life on Earth, and I have mounted proof. From the crash in Roswell in 1947, to Area 51, to former basketball player Sam Cassell, aliens surely exist in some capacity. Scoooooooooot.

When an object crash landed in Roswell in 1947, it was reported that a "flying disc" was seen at the landing site. The military came in and the next day, it was reported that one of their surveillance balloons that was sent up in the sky to take pictures crashed down to earth. The story was immediately dropped. Then about 30 years later, some physicist said that all that shit was a cover-up and it was indeed a UFO that landed there. And then The National Enquirer, a super credible news source, reported alien autopsies took place. A television program was aired between 1999-2002 called Roswell and if it's on t.v. than it most certainly is real. Not convinced yet are we? I'll spew more facts.

Area 51 is a well-known military research facility that tests experimental aircraft and weapons. They are purported to have tested some of the crash materials found at Roswell. Some even say that those who work there have flown some of the UFOs they have gathered over the years. Roswell is in New Mexico. Area 51 is in Nevada, a very close neighbor to the former Mexican owned land. Some of the tests they have been linked to include, weather control, aliens, time travel, and teleportation. Everyone who watched Lost knows that time travel is real, because that show was based on true events. And the Harry Potter series contributed to the realism of teleportation. Lastly, Area 51 was a badass video game that included aliens and such. Pretty good convincer, aren't I? I know.

I talked about basketball yesterday and how all these players have tattoos nowadays. Well, there is one basketball player that doesn't have any tats, but he does possess something that no other NBA player does. And that is a big alien head. See below.

Text me when you read this if you don't actually believe he is an alien. I don't expect any texts to come in in the next 24 hours. That is the ideal shape of a head that belongs to an alien. It's probably a size 12 and bald as one can be. And look at that excuse for a mouth. He probably swallows baby calves and humans whole. An alien by all accounts.

Three of the most credible and outstanding arguments to support the existence of alien life, right here in black and white. And I am not talking about immigrants in the Home of the Brave. Actual extraterrestrial life that exists in the Milky Way Galaxy and beyond. And my proof is a television show that was on the WB for 3 seasons, an arcade-style video game that was the fuckin' shit, and a retired basketball player. If not for me, you would continue to walk through life without the knowledge of aliens. Watch The X Files if you should find yourself doubting me and my impossible to disprove opinions/facts. You can't because, "I am better than you."

***Photo courtesy of http://www.carolinawatercooler.com/cassell.jpg