What Does It Take To Get Into The Softcore Porn Industry?

I thought long and hard about this question after reading up on Camille Grammer, the ex-wife of comedian?/actor Kelsey Grammer. She was once a starlet of the softcore porn game and I was always fascinated by it since my youth. Those were the days when Cinemax After Hours was the thing to watch. But with the interweb getting extremely fast in the past couple of years and porn sites growing at an exponential rate, I worry that softcore porn is losing its luster. That's why I have the all important question of "How do I get involved in the softcore porn business?"

I would imagine that I would need to think of a new name. One that gives me character, but doesn't reveal too much about me. Something like, Papa Dong (Papa John's). This way my fanbase will know how I view myself, a papa or father or overall authoritative figure, and Dong because I have one. I'm also not quite sure if softcore porn stars even use names. I guess they don't really need them because they don't do much for the 30 minute short film. But since this is something I'm very interested in doing, I will give myself a name to show my commitment.

One of the main attractions of softcore porn is the lack of acting talent needed. In a genuine hardcore pornography film, the actors have to recite lines, regardless of the fact that they usually go like, "Fuck me because I'm naughty." Or even, "I have a very big weiner." You don't see a lot of lines being issued in softcore movies. They usually just show the two of them in a bedroom whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears. And then all of a sudden they are disrobing. Something I have much experience doing.

My favorite part of the softcore genre is the simulation of sex they perform. He makes faces like he is lifting the heaviest weight in the world. She sighs like she's suffering from an asthma attack. And the very best part is they aren't even doing anything! In a perfect world, this is how sex would go all the time. You wouldn't have to worry about erectile dysfunction (getting it up), finishing early (nice guys finish last), and most importantly she is instantly satisfied (doesn't happen in real life). The more I talk about it, the more this needs to happen.

Do you go on auditions? Do you need to be muscular? I only have a problem with one of these questions. I don't want to have to meet some strangers to be cast into a short film. Because I'm obviously muscular enough to take part in such activities. In short, this is easily one of the best ideas I have ever had, frankly because I would excel at it. If anybody knows how to get into the industry I would be eternally grateful. And if anybody has any suggestions on names I could go with, if you don't like Papa Dong, that would also be appreciated. I just have to make sure I don't tell my co-star that, "I am better than you."