1.) Attack of the ex's - Mostly everybody has an ex. You date, it flops, you move on. However, in today's age these ex's just don't go away. Just because they aren't around physically doesn't mean they aren't around totally. Facebook has a feature that allows you to post comments under pictures, wall posts, and status updates. I can imagine the rage that would ensue after having seen an ex post something unflattering on your current interest's wall/picture/status. My advice? Fuck em. We all have ex's, it's best to not let theirs get in the way of what you currently are working on.
2.) Poking and messaging - These first two items are very similar and are both directly related to jealousy. You happen to look at your hook-up's Home page and notice that she's been poked by some toolbag. An invitation to some flirty behavior. You can't help but ask yourself what this dick is thinking? Or you go even further and start looking through their message inbox and see some things you wish you hadn't. Well, Facebook is just like a cell phone. Don't go snooping through the txt messages because you might read something you don't want to. It's better to trust who you're with and leave the snooping for Sherlock Holmes.
3.) Pictures - The ultimate best and worst part of Facebook. When it was first introduced, pictures were the best and easiest way to stalk somebody. You can see essentially their whole life since they created their Facebook. Nowadays, you have the option of making your pictures private which has its positives and negatives. One is that you don't have to see what they looked like with braces and acne. But you also don't get to see if so and so actually went to their friend Kimmy's house like they said they were. They could have been at a frat party getting trains run on them. You never know with people. Just don't look at the pictures.
4.) Status updates - I mentioned it before, but now I want to go in-depth. You are supposed to go drinking at a friend's house. You have made all the plans, it's just a matter of physically doing it. John calls you back when you're a minute away. Claims to have been grounded. When in reality, John just made plans to go to dinner with his girlfriend Phoebe. This is why you should never update your status. Whereas I would have believed you about being grounded, I now know that you are on a dinner date with your whore-ish girlfriend. If you don't want somebody to know where you are, don't update your status. Plain and simple.
5.) Unfriending - The biggest culprit of them all. You haven't spoken with this person for a year or so. You go through your "friends" and decide it's time to eliminate them. All of a sudden the person you deleted is trying to be your friend again. They get overly upset that you would end your friendship with them. You know as well as I know that this person is a piece of shit and your friendship doesn't really mean anything. And really? We've come to a point where being friends on a social networking site means something? Fuck that. Get rid of everyone on your Facebook who you don't talk to because what's the difference really.
I know I was supposed to help prevent ruining the relationships, but as you can see unfriending is something that just needs to happen. In fact, it might be helping you out in the long run because you'll be able to say that you did it first and make them look like the pussy. Just don't be a creeper and follow my simple steps to ensure that Facebook doesn't ruin your relationships anymore. However, I can break the rules because "I am better than you."
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