If You Believe In God, You Probably Believe In Unicorns Too

The United States of America was colonized because of the freedom of religion it provided. At a time when the King of England wasn't putting up with anybody's shit, the pilgrims left England and came to America to practice their own religion. An important history lesson for all you out there who don't know dick. But why exactly is it that Americans still feel the need to practice religion based on our 1st Amendment rights? Beats me. But I think I can venture an educated guess. Because people have nothing to rely on but hope. They hope one day they will go to heaven and everything will be great. News flash! When you die, you're going six feet under.

I was raised in a Catholic family. Church on Sundays, school on the weekdays. My mom is a devoted religious person with firm beliefs. None of which I agree with. Could it be because Catholicism ruined my life at an early age? Probably. But I'd like to think of it as me using my brain and making my own decisions. I was taught at a very early age about the good and bad of our actions. Being good got you rewarded with something, being bad resulted in punishment. But why is that way?

Some suggest religion is used as a moral compass to help us to make better decisions. I think that's horseshit. If you need to read a fucking book, in this case The Bible (the greatest and most popular fiction of all-time), then I feel sorry for you. Your parents have the sole responsibility of teaching you what is right and what is wrong. Where did they learn? From their parents and their parents and so on and so on. So you might ask me, where is it that people learned what is right and wrong? If you have any semblance of a heart, you will know what is right and what is wrong. When I steal, I know it's wrong. When I lie, I know it's wrong. I'm pretty sure if I killed someone I would know that it's wrong. Because it provides guilt.

I'm pretty sure that one day a father was telling his child a story and instead of using a ghost or a monster, he made up the devil. Way to go asshole. Tell your kid that if they are bad, then they will burn in hell for the rest of eternity. I also heard some whackjob in high school tell me that Hell could be described as sitting in a white nothingness for the rest of time with nothing to do. A torture. Fuck you. Who the fuck told you that dumbass story? Talib Kweli said it best when he wrote "I learned that heaven and hell exist right here on earth."

Think about it. Some days are really shitty. Bad things happen, like a friend or family member passing away, or even a pet. Those days should be considered your hell. Why? Because you feel like shit. Don't tell me there is something worse than that because I'll call you a fucking liar. And of course we have our really good days, like finding out your girlfriend isn't pregnant, or you just won the lottery. Boom. Heaven. Disprove me. You can't because God and religion is all made up so somebody could make an extra dollar. Pay the church to forgive my sins? Fantastic. Kill people who aren't Catholic? Spanish Inquisition. A superb way to toss around some extra cash.

All that money that your family throws away to the Church, Temple, or wherever you give praise. Good chance that's a boatload of money. And why only pray when you're down on your shit? Pray all the time if you're that sincere about it. But please. Don't shovel that shit down my throat because I don't want to hear about it. Religion is a crock of shit and is the sole reason as to why war exists. Everyone wants to prove that what they believe in is better than what somebody else believes in. Cut the shit and get over it. And please don't pray for me if you find this blog offensive because I don't want your made up help. I already know that "I am better than you."