Breast Implants Are Pretty Great, Except When They Look Like Shit

In America, we like to think of everything as "Bigger means better." That includes fast-food restaurants offering a Super size, the Sunday New York Times, and most importantly breast size. Everybody knows that guys like a girl with a huge cup size. Because what's not to like about playing with some large fun bags. And more recently than not, girls have been using a cheating method to enhancing their breasts. They're getting implants. Silicone and saline. And the bigger, the better, right? Wrong. Fake tits are not my favorite thing in the world and they shouldn't be your favorite thing either.

I only know of one person in the entire universe who has implants. And I mean, personally. We went to high school together and talked on a somewhat frequent basis. But not so long ago, my former dear friend decided to improve her look by getting some big ass titties. The problem being, these titties do not look good. I haven't seen what they look like in their present form nor did I see them in their past form. But from pictures that I've seen, they look atrocious. Almost brick-like. And from all the boobies I've seen in my day, I don't think they should look like that. With or without clothes on. It's a huge risk getting boobies that might look really terrible, like big tennis balls or a gap you could dive in between. This is setback number 1.

Breast implants also tend to have some sort of connection to breast cancer. That's no laughing matter. If you are willing to undergo an augmentation with that risk associated, well I don't know what to say. That's pretty ballsy on your part. This is setback number 2. Now I've never touched a fake tit and I'm pretty sure I've never seen one in person. But I can't imagine they feel like the real thing. Correct? Even if you get those saline ones, it's still got to be somewhat hard, plus it leaves a nasty looking scar. They might just end up feeling like a bag of sand. Or something relatively close to it. This is setback number 3.

One of the most fearful reasons I would have in getting bigger boobs would be the risk of losing sensitivity to the nipple. What if that is your hotspot? And then you get your surgery and you lose almost all sensation in the area? You're pretty much fucked. Was the juice worth the squeeze? I would have to say no, but then again what the hell do I know? I'm just an unemployed jackass sitting behind my computer typing this worthless shit. As if anybody cares about my opinion on such things. This is setback number 4.

The most logical and acceptable reason for getting your boobs done is so that maybe you can feel more feminine or even more confident. But I don't see how having your boobs done would make you feel any more like a woman. I'm a guy and I know that you still have boobs, whether it be an A, B, or C cup. Any size and I'm pretty sure they are still there. But if going up a cup size or two is the push you need to make you feel better, by all means go for it. But please realize, guys like boobs no matter how big they are. Believe me, I know. My friends used to tell me about them all the time. I just got to say that you should be thinking about what you think of those titties, not what somebody else might think about them. Duh. So bigger doesn't necessarily mean better, at least when it comes to boobs. And you should listen to what I say because, "I am better than you."