Tattoos Are More Popular Than Microwaves In The 70s

Finally I have returned to my forum to express my thoughts. After another unsettling few days, I will unleash more of my correct opinions. I was lying (laying?), I still don't know when to use either one, in bed watching television on Saturday afternoon collecting my thoughts because I had nothing else to do. So I let my mind wander and found myself gazing at the screen and noticing something startling. It was the St. John's-Villanova basketball game and every asshole on the court had tattoos. All 10 of them. I decided to do a little bit of research and the results were disheartening. Tattoos are cool now.

I looked at some photos from the 80s involving the Lakers and the Celtics. None of them pictured had any tats. Zero. When I looked at a picture from last season's NBA Finals, only 4 of the 10 starters had tats, but 6 of the key bench players did as well. So not my best example, but the point is tattoos are huge in not only basketball, but athletics in general. Basketball is also the most noticeable because they wear tank tops. But you can also see how prevalent they are in football, too. Even some clowns who play baseball have them. Look at Eric Hinske's back tattoo.

That is without a doubt the worst tattoo in the history of the world. I don't care what his reasoning is, it looks awful. For the rest of his life, that mural will be on his back. I've taken shits that have looked better than this travesty. But it's not only athletics where tattoos are creeping into. Mainstream musicians are getting into the act. Google 'John Mayer Sleeve'. Appalled? I certainly am. Sure it looks cool as shit, but to see that mess on that sweetheart's arm is just upsetting. You can only get tats if you're in a shitty metal band that no one listens to or if you're a cover band trying to pay this month's rent.

But wait, it goes even further. Megan Fox is a walking pile of ink. She has a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe on her forearm and verses in script on her ribs/back. I can understand if guys want to pollute their bodies with permanent ink because for the most part we're fucking idiots and don't know good ideas from bad ones. But a beautiful female? No one wants to look at that shit while penetration is occurring. It would probably get me thinking about how many guys splooged all over the targets. And that my friend is a thought that should not occur during sexual intercourse. Especially with someone like Meg.

And of course, their are those of us who get tattoos because they mean something special to us. Reminiscing about a lost loved one, whether it be a family member, a friend, or maybe even a pet. Completely understandable. If it is small and has significant value, I'm all for it. But way too often tattoos are seen as the cool thing to do. In 10 years, you will be looking back at what you did to your body and regret it immediately. For those pieces of shit, haha asshole. Once seen as taboo has now become mainstream and cool. So I will ride off into the sunset with my Dick Vitale tattoo on my ass, chanting along the way, "I am better than you."

***Photo courtesy of http://youbeenblinded.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/eric-hinske-tattoo.jpg