Glasses: A Girl's Best Friend After She Becomes A Consenting Adult

When I was in the third grade, I began having problems with my eyes. I was doing a lot of squinting at the blackboard, even though it's green, and a lot of squinting at the television when I was at home. This resulted in my first appointment at the eye doctor and the eventual prescription of glasses. A new nickname had been born. Four eyes. Yep, even the greatest of them all have been ridiculed at some point in time in their life. Luckily for me, I have not been made fun of once since that disgraceful time period. Indubitably since circa 97, glasses have become much more than a tool to make fun of someone. They have become a sex symbol.

I don't like reading books. Since my inception in 1988, I have read a grand total of approximately 30 books. That might be a generous number, or I might have low-balled it a little bit. Either way, reading is not for me. So fortunately I have you readers to thank because without you, these would just be words on a page. But I digress. Have you ever watched a porno movie? Maybe a clip on a popular pornographic website? I know all the males reading this have. And probably some of the perverted girls too. I know girls like porn. All guys know it. And nothing is as great as looking at a sexy librarian.

What makes the librarian sexy, you ask? Is it her short skirt and long hair? Is it her size 36 DD breasts? Or is it the fact that she is wearing glasses? The answer shouldn't surprise you because I know for a fact that it's her glasses. Girls who wear glasses that are above the age of 18 generate a level of sexiness that can only be found in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Glasses provide the female figure with a sense of innocence and naivety. Sure, she might be cute without them, but those glasses put her in another level. Truer words have never been spoken.

When I was in college I met a lot of great girls who were smart and liked to party. Conveniently, most of them had shitty eyesight. Which means I had the privilege of creepily staring at them while they "studied" with their glasses on. And I would bet my lifesavings of $150.43 that they were harassed in grammar school. Now those same assholes who picked on them and mutilated their self-esteem are regretting it now big time. All of a sudden these girls who were so vile and repugnant and looked like Harriet the Spy, are getting hit on at an exponential rate. They seemingly went from a 4 to a solid 8 and 1/2. I fell in love with all of them at some point in time because they all looked so ferocious and delightful. So now you girls know.

What makes a slutty doctor look good? What about a slutty librarian? Or even a slutty teacher? There's a theme that I'm trying to get you to pick up on. Did you get it? Glasses, you silly fucks. They all look remarkable in glasses. If you are in the luxury of your own home/apartment/cubicle go ahead and google "girls with glasses" and mystify yourself with the results. Every chick looks great in glasses. Remember one of my first posts about Jane Krakowski and Tina Fey? Why do people find her attractive (Fey)? Her humor or her glasses? Checkmate. So in the near future when you have boys as children, remind them not to tease girls with glasses because they will turn out to look hot as shit. I did but, "I am better than you."

P.S. See what I mean

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