The remainder of the school year played out pretty nicely. I had this new girlfriend and she would sleep over on the weekends and we'd hang out on Tuesdays and Thursdays after my last class. Things were going really well and I really liked her. So the school year ended and summer came along. I still didn't have a car at this point, so seeing each other was going to be a little difficult. I ended up going to see her two or three times that summer, but only when her dad wasn't home. It made for an exciting day or two. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and getting up and walking out of Chili's. The waiter at Applebee's calling me Champion. Towards the end of it, she came to meet my friends at my best friend's beach house. All of my friends seemed to really like her and that made me pretty happy. One of the last few nights we were there, I took her to the beach and told her that my dad taught me two things in life. 1.) Never bet on your favorite team. 2.) Never tell somebody you love them unless you mean it. I then went on to tell her I loved her.
My junior year came around and our relationship was at an all-time high. We saw each other every day and really enjoyed one another's company. This was a transitional period in my college life because I had just moved in with two strangers and my best friend at school. Looking back, I really left him hanging there to dry. Two strangers and I pretty much spent all my time with the girlfriend. Shocking that he's still my friend today. Anywho, college wasn't so good to the girlfriend and thoughts of transferring had occurred. Since I really liked this girl I wanted her to be happy so I encouraged her to rush a sorority. She got in, did her thing, and all seemed to be well in the world.
And then in January, something bad happened. An accident. A mistake. A slip-up. She had made-out with another guy from some pussy ass frat. I had been cheated on. Easily the worst I had ever felt. You feel like you put all this trust in a person, and just like that it can vanish. I did my best to stop talking to her, but I didn't really want to. I cared about her too much to let something like that get in the way of my feelings. Plus, I knew she felt terrible about it because she was the one who told me it happened. I never would have known. So I took that as a sign that she was truly sorry and proceeded on with the relationship a couple of weeks later.
Once again things were going really well. I think she was trying to earn my trust back, but it was still a little bit hard for me. Sometimes she went out of her way to try and make me happy, something I guess I felt I was entitled to because of what had happened. Regardless, I felt we were back to being happy. One night we split a pizza from Papa John's and I knew I had something really special. Sunday nights we watched Desperate Housewives, seriously. We ended up staying together for Maymester, a five week crash course that my school offered. Hands down the best time I had ever had with her. We watched The O.C., some lame movies, ate popcorn, skittles, starburst, milkshakes, and made Boboli pizzas. We even found time to watch The Bachelorette. And one time we got really drunk playing Candy Land. Not the manliest things to do by any stretch of the imagination, but I was happy to be with her and happy things were going well.
Senior year was here and my time in college was almost up. This was going to be a tough year for me for many reasons. I pretty much had all my core classes for my major to take. The girlfriend was going to Spain to study abroad Spring semester, and I was leaving the place that made me the happiest I had ever been. I knew going into it that things might get a little bumpy. We alternated sleepovers every night and she usually stayed by me on the weekends. Some nights we stayed in and just hung out, other nights we would go get drunk. We even woke up one night to look at the meteor shower, but never made the actual effort to get out of bed. Fall semester was over and that dreaded time was coming around. We hung out a couple of times before she left and it was pretty sad for me. I imagine for her too.
My last semester of college was probably the best time for her to go and do that. It gave me the time to hang out with my friends and gave her the opportunity to learn a little bit more about herself. We would skype and send emails to each other and it made the long distance a lot more doable, at least for me. The semester flew by and before you know it, she was back. I was happy to be able to hug and kiss her again just like I used to every day before she went away. But things felt a little bit weird once she got back. Maybe all the time made it a bit awkward. Whatever it was, it didn't "feel" the same.
The summer came, we saw each other one time. Uh oh. Something isn't right. We went from this almost unbreakable kind of bond, to an almost forgettable relationship. I wasn't even talking to her on a daily basis. Some texts and a goodnight and that was about all. We had made plans to get together that summer on a little vacation with just the two of us. We ended up going to Wildwood because it was convenient for the both of us. We stayed for 3 nights and once again enjoyed each other's company. Coloring and Poley. But it was time for her to go back to school. But this time without me.
I visited her move in weekend and made it a "surprise". However, my idea of a surprise was to hang out with my best friend from school because he was going to Turkey for almost a year and well I figured I'd be seeing more of her than him in that time frame. A mistake on my part. I should have told her I was coming and that I intended to hang out with him. My mistake. Things got progressively worse as we weren't seeing much of each other. Not since she left for Spain at least. She came to see me in October for a weekend and that was also a fantastic time. We played miniature golf and went into New York City and went to Central Park and sat on this huge rock. All the things that made us realize why we were together in the first place.
I surprised her again the following weekend, but this time I stayed with her the whole time. It was pretty great seeing her two weekends in a row, considering I hadn't seen her in about 6 weeks. So the weekend came and went and I ended up seeing her one more time about a month later. This was probably the downfall of our relationship. I wasn't happy. She wasn't happy. It seemed like we had just fallen apart. Maybe it was the lack of time together. Maybe it was a lack of interest. I don't know, but all I know is it wasn't a good time. After I had left, we continued talking for a couple of weeks and then it was over. She wasn't happy anymore. She couldn't handle the long distance. The relationship had reached its end.
I didn't quite know if things were really over or maybe if it was just a little break. But I didn't talk to her for a couple of days and then after about a week we talked again. Nothing was really resolved and so we continued talking here and there. Until in January the decision was made to just end things. Because we seemed to want different things, and the amount of times we were seeing each other wasn't sufficient. As of this posting, I haven't spoken with her in about 5 weeks. So let me just say it, because I'm pretty sure she might be reading this.
I don't hate you. I never have. I never will. I hated the situation we were in and I hate that you quit on us. I knew being long distance wasn't going to be easy, but knowing that I had you when I needed you was alright with me. I'm sorry you felt I was needy, because in fact at times I did need you and you were there, but not now. If you think this is easy on me, you're dead wrong. I thought breaking up was going to be the hardest part, but it's getting over you that I'm having trouble with. I lost my best friend. And for my sake, I know talking to you as my friend is just going to make things worse. I still can't eat a Boboli, or listen to a certain John Mayer song, or even the time with Pop-Rocks. All these memories flood me about all the great times I had with you, but never the negative ones. Because I don't think there were any. I'm sorry we couldn't make things work. I truly am. I wish I could do something to change it. But I can't. I want to wish you the best of luck and success in the Dominican Republic and I hope you find what it is that you're looking for. Today would have been three years. Instead today is just February 17, 2011.
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