Teen Pregnancy: Why Wait?

When a man and a woman love each other, they have what is called sex. And from sex, a baby is made. If I can recall correctly, that was what I was taught at around 9 or 10 years old. Probably because I was far advanced for my age and I asked, my mom gave me the courtesy of telling me. So despite the fact that I didn't actually SEE what sex was until I was about 13, I knew the result of it was a baby. Then I learned about condoms and all that other fun stuff. So let's shoot around 13 or 14 for when I knew what sex was and how it could be prevented. Maybe I was a late bloomer, sue me. But what I knew then seems to be a lot more than what teenagers know now. Teen pregnancy seems to be the cool thing to do now. I'm glad I'm not a teen.

I think we can start by placing the blame on Lifetime. Sometime last year they had an original movie premiere titled "The Pregnancy Pact." This movie told the story about a group of friends in some New Hampshire high school or some other liberal New England state, and the pact they made with one another to get pregnant. Ok, so high school wasn't the best 4 years I had of my life. I spent a lot of Friday nights twiddling my thumbs and twiddling other body parts. But never was I so bored that I decided to make a pact with my friends to get pregnant. It's also something I couldn't do because I'm not a sea horse. I can't make babies. I also probably couldn't have sex, but that's besides the point. A pact to get pregnant? Really? How shitty is life over there?

(Nice tagline)

Not to miss out on jumping on the bandwagon, MTV followed it up with a television program called, "Teen Mom" and now "Teen Mom 2". Since MTV only shows good, educational programming (see Jersey Shore and The Real World) they have taken a regional trend and made it a national phenomenon. What this excuse for a show does is encourage girls to get pregnant so that there's a possibility of getting onto t.v. Thankfully MTV pays the girls who are featured on the show, but they still provide the entertainment that's leading to tens of thousands of stupid girls getting pregnant. Good grief!

(Disgusting effects of being pregnant and fat)

The biggest problem I seem to have with it, is how? How are these girls getting pregnant, if it isn't voluntary? I understand that sometimes condoms break. I understand that sometimes condoms don't feel as good. Heck, I even understand if people are allergic to latex. But I also understand that birth control is relatively easy to get a hold of. Even if girls don't want to tell their moms or dads that they are sexually active, they can still make up the excuse that they want to regulate their periods, can't they? Maybe I really don't understand because I'm a boy, but I doubt it seriously.

(It's that easy)

Girls always seem to complain that taking birth control puts on excess weight. Maybe a little bit more love in the love handles or even a little bit bigger titties. I don't see that being a problem with me, so why should it be a problem for them. And really? A little excess weight? Surely you have to be kidding me? Do you know what happens when you get pregnant? You put on an upwards of 25-30 punds. And then after you eject the child out of you, some of that excess weight lingers. Forever. So yes, a little bit of excess weight now instead of a lifetime of weight that you are unable to get off. Don't worry lots of guys find stretch marks attractive.

(Doutzen Kroes, Victoria's Secret model two months after giving birth)

(Image source - infdaily)

I don't want to hear about supermodels and actresses or other famous people that lose the weight in like 20 days after giving birth. They aren't real humans. They must do massive amounts of coke or exercise 20 hours a day until all the fat is gone. So girls, don't let them lead by example because all that'll do for you is leave you depressed and disgusting. Take the extra 7 seconds before bang city putting on a condom to ensure you don't get preggers. Take that little pill to prevent baby Jesus from being created inside of you. Because being pregnant as a teen is probably the last thing you should be worrying about. It's the zits and not getting into college you should be worried about. Worried about people like me who are prettier and smarter but most importantly say, "I am better than you."