What If I Told You There Was Nothing Worse Than Hearing About Potential?

Throughout my time conquering life and becoming the greatest human to ever be conceived, I've been told a lot of things about myself. People have told me that I should be a lawyer because I have a tendency to get into arguments with people. Or a doctor because my memory is of an elite status. Or a comedian because sometimes my jokes are of the highest caliber. When realistically, I'm not Jewish, so I can't get into law. I don't have enough money to afford medical school and I probably couldn't handle all the studying. And let's be really honest. I'm not that funny. But what do all these things have in common? I could potentially have done all of them.

Potential is the most overused, overstated word in the entire English vocabulary. Everybody has the potential to do anything they want. And our stupid parents encourage such thinking by saying, "Go ahead hunny, you can be the best model in the whole world!" Your daughter has moles on her face and is about 100 lbs. overweight. She can not and will not be a model. Do not lie to her face and tell her that she is going to be a model. All our dumb parents do is give us false hope that we can do anything we set our mind to.

And these dumb ass celebrities and professional athletes who are supposed to be role models embedding into our brains that if you dream it you can achieve it. Please stop with this mumbo-jumbo bullshit. I'm at an age in my life where I realize my friends and acquaintances can do some things, but not anything. I am an exception to this because I am fully capable of all things. Like making you come back on a daily basis to continue reading this bullshit. But seriously, take a look at yourself and ask if you are doing what you intended to do in your life. Probably not.

The worst part about all of it is the phrase 'what if'. What if I was four inches taller and 50 lbs. heavier? What if Obama wasn't President? What if the Mets finally won the World Series? What if, what if , what if. But I'm not that tall or heavy. Obama is the President. The Mets will never win the World Series again. Stop living your life based on the phrase what if. It doesn't mean anything. Potential and what if go hand-in-hand because they are both bullshit. Stop being such a huge pussy and just do it. (Nike)

What if I asked that pretty girl out? She would have said no because your wearing sneakers from K-Mart and there are boogers on your WWF t-shirt. What if can relate to almost anything and everything. Yet it never seems to change, no matter the context. And stop saying that the glass is half-full. The glass is half-empty. Why the fuck would you ever say my glass is half-full of water or apple juice or some other cool drink. When you have half a tank of gas are you closer to being empty or full? Logic would tell you it's the same distance either way, but we all know it's closer to empty. So cut the crap and see things for what they really are.

I'm not a pessimist. I only see the truth in things. Like my vocabulary and grammar are in the upper echelon. And maybe I'm a little bit cynical because I know what I know better than somebody else can tell me. That's why we always choose to make our own mistakes because we want to see the outcome for ourselves. It's a mistrust of those who we do know and those that we don't. With no expectations, you could never be disappointed. However your expectations for this blog should be high because you and I both know the same thing. "I am better than you."