1.10.2011

Britney Spears Makes Shitty Music That You Shouldn't Like

Remember when you used to get home from school and turn on MTV to catch Total Request Live? Remember when you thought that it was the greatest television show in the history of the world? Remember when you were pathetic for having thought that? I do because it was just now, idiot. Well if my memory serves me correctly, (and it always does) that would place us circa 98. Carson Daly would be considered the man amongst men and us readers as goofy ass 7-10 year olds. I'll admit it. You guys didn't know any better. You thought it was a good program.

From what my gut is telling me, this is also the time that the Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, Third Eye Blind (a legendary band), Christina Aguilera, Limp Bizkit, and Britney Spears, gulp, rocked the airwaves. Yes, you read that correctly. Rocked the airwaves. I won't go so hard on the boy bands because everybody liked boy bands. Or Limp Bizkit. People liked them for some reason. But where are they now? Dead probably, which isn't the worst fate. But then we have people like Britney Spears still making really shitty music.

For example, Britney Spears latest masterpiece was leaked today and the title of the pile of shit is "Hold It Against Me". Yes Britney I will hold it against it you for taking away three minutes and thirty-one seconds of my life that I will never be able to get back. I'm tired of hearing all these songs that have these cheesy, generic techno beats with god awful people performing the music. Enrique Iglesias, Pitbull, and Usher are to name a few. But let's leave the techno to professionals like Tiesto (Matt).

When was the last time Britney Spears actually put on a good performance, aside from shaving her head? "Hit Me Baby One More Time", "Oops...I Did It Again", "I'm A Slave 4 U"? She can't even spell the whole word out? What a loser. What really upsets me is "Lucky". I'd have felt a lot luckier in my life if I never heard that dogpile of shit. And my favorite of all them? "If U Seek Amy." Never in my life in 2008 would I fuck her. I don't think anybody really wants to fuck her either. None of the boys and none of the girls.

At this point in her life, with her two or three children or how many ever she shot out, I think she should be focusing on the more important things. Like being a good mother, and a role model to the children she brought into the world. Instead of rehashing the same shit over and over and over again, I think it's time for Britney to go away. Forever. And this time we should abide and leave Britney alone.

So instead of encouraging her to make more music, you people should stop buying her records and albums and requesting her songs on the shitty radio. All that it will leave you with is more of the same. Garbage, white trash, and an ugly has-been. I chose to never listen to Britney Spears because my taste in music is superior than yours, simply because "I am better than you."

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