The Easiest Way To Lose Weight Is To Have Never Gotten Fat To Begin With

I'm tired of looking at people who are fat. I understand that being fat has its perks, like it not hurting when you fall on your ass/cottage cheese, or knowing that whatever you wear, you'll probably look terrible regardless. It just pains me so much because if everyone had a natural physique like mine, the world would be a better place. I've seen people of all shapes and sizes and the ones who are most repulsive are those who are obese. Obesity is a disease in which you can't stop eating because you have no self-value and very little care in your appearance. I am here to help.

I recently read a study that linked childhood obesity with an insufficient amount of sleep. If you are laughing, stop, because that's apparently real. Yes children are fucking fatso's because they aren't getting enough sleep. Let's disregard all the fucking happy meals they're eating and the 12 cans of soda they drink a day, as well as the time video games consume their souls. I swear to God researchers are the dumbest motherfuckers around. To even make a statement like that is borderline retarded. Excuses are like assholes, everybody has one and they all stink. But I have a solution or five.

Like the title says the easiest way to lose weight is to never put it on in the first place. But since none of us are perfect (besides me) I did a little research. One of the first ways you can prevent yourself from becoming fat or to stop being fat is bulimia. I understand throwing up is not an ideal situation for everyone, but optimal for losing excess weight. If you don't want the acid to burn your esophogus there is always solution number two, anorexia. Stopping yourself from eating is a great way to cut down on ghastly weight gains. And lastly, we have laxatives. This way you can poop out all those unwanted Big Mac's. However, I should note that this measure is only for the males because, as we all know, girls don't poop.

We shouldn't be celebrating those who are obese. "The Biggest Loser" is an example as to why our country is looked upon like a big joke. We are putting fat fucking losers on television and then paying them to lose weight. PAYING people to lose weight. Gone are the days of looking good for yourself. If it doesn't amount to a paycheck, than it isn't worth our time? Right? How nieve and despicable we truly are. And I blame that liberal Obama who's in the White House for this. If we had jobs we wouldn't resort to getting fat so that we can earn a paycheck.

No, there is no such thing as an obese gene. Yes, these people can help it. We all go through rough times and to blame your mortifying weight gain on your problems is foolish and unacceptable. If you don't have a good metabolism, eat three meals a day. Work out. Run. Jog. Stop eating. Stop drinking. Obesity is very easy to overcome. I joked about it before, but seriously, it doesn't take much to lose weight. Stop blaming a lack of sleep on childhood obesity. Start taking responsibility for your poor actions. Life is too short to dance with fat chicks. Keep that in mind to the four girls reading this, because I will only dance with you if you are indeed skinny. I am and that already means "I am better than you."