A follow up to a blog I posted a little while back about Charlie Sheen. Well it seems that last night he bought a suitcase full of coke and proceeded to snort about a brick of it. His body then went into some sort of crazy shock and now he's in the hospital for a probable overdose. And you thought I was kidding when I said that he was a maverick. This man clearly does not want to be alive anymore because all he's doing is blowing lines and fucking prostitutes/porn stars. Like a stud. A life that surely went awry somewhere.
Because he must be near shitting the bed, all of his close family was there with him at the hospital today, reportedly. Even Denise Richards, his sexy ass ex-wife came to see him. Why? I don't know but that's gotta be some serious ass shit. This should be a lesson to anyone who plans on becoming famous. Be careful with your cocaine use because it'll make you extremely fun and the life of the party. And that's a negative? But enough about that guy already. Let's talk about a different kind of snow. Like the one that falls from the sky every winter.
The shithole state of New Jersey is now experiencing the most snowfall in a month on record. We got something like 4 feet in just January alone! I can't fucking stand it. I go outside once a week, twice at most. And all I see is brown-colored snow everywhere. There is legitimately nowhere to put it anymore. Did I mention how ugly it is? Snow used to be cool when you were a kid because you get to play in it and build forts and pee in it. But now as an adult, it brings nothing but grief. Watching my mom shovel out her car today for an hour and a half was disheartening.
All the snow brings is muscle pain and fatigue. Shoveling and shoveling and more shoveling. I felt so bad for her, but what was I supposed to do? Well I'll tell you what I did. I lay under my comfy ass comforter and drank some hot chocolate. It was very warm and inviting. When my mom came back in, I asked her to prepare me something for lunch. I guess the more I talk about it, the more I like what the snow brings. In fact, I hope it snows for the remainder of the season. That way I can continue to pamper myself and reap the rewards of others.
Anywho. I was productive a little bit today, however. My sister signed us up for a half-marathon in May. It's going to be the first time I run somewhat seriously in five years. Five fucking years. And what should make all of you sick and jealous is that I'm still in elite shape. I'm probably even faster than a cheetah. I wouldn't bet against me. Training starts in March since I can't run in all this snow. Perhaps my mom can shovel my block's entire sidewalk. That would be beneficial. Regardless, if anyone is interested, and I know that noone is, I expect some signs that cheer me on at the finish line. Something like "You're fast as fuck", "Beat that cripple!", or "You ARE better than me". Because you can't write, "I am better than you."
why didnt you HELP you mother shovel her car? must not have been that depressing. you're her son.
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