Nice Guys Finish Last, Even In The Bedroom

I learned a lot of things this weekend. Being nice, when it involves dating and relationships is the wrong route to go. For some reason, females tend to have a problem with guys who treat them well. Why exactly? I don't have an official answer, but one that I conjured up with the enormous brain I carry around all day long. Girls enjoy the challenge of breaking down a guy with "mysterious" qualities. He needs to have an edge, something that separates him from everyone else. If he's a dickhead, surely there is a reason as to why. But what dumbass girls don't understand is, there is NO reason, except to get in your pants.

Women, girls, or cooks/cleaners, whatever it is you refer to them as, like two types of guys. 1) A guy who treats them like shit and is a complete asshole and 2) A guy with a lot of experience, especially in the bedroom. The reason they like assholes is because they see it as a way to try and figure out why he is an asshole and try to change him. The reason they like guys with a shit ton of experience is rather obvious. Because they know what the fuck they're doing. And if you can find a guy that has both qualities, well in the world of female thinking, they just hit the fucking jackpot.

Every so many years I hear people at accredited universities and colleges run tests and do experiments and conduct research and claim that women on the average are smarter than men. I would like to meet every one of these pieces of shit and kick them all in the throat. Not only do girls have zero intelligence, they are all fucking lunatics. Every single one of them is crazy in some aspect. For Christ's sake they don't even know what they want in a man. Yeah I know, someone with money, who is tall, well-educated, handsome, and a piece of shit who treats them like the neighborhood stray. Get your heads out of your asses and open your fucking minds, you supposed smart-asses.

I have a sister. She recently met a guy who is too nice. Yes, too nice. Never in my life have I considered that to be a negative quality. But when I was told by the four other girls in the room that being too nice is a problem, I nearly had a seizure. Being with a guy who is too nice is too predictable. He always does the right thing, and good God-Almighty that is 100% unacceptable. All of them are so wrapped up in finding something that doesn't exist. Like dinosaurs. If someone opens the door for you, and pays for dinner, and walks you home, they clearly have good moral values. But if they don't return your texts, or go Dutch on dinner, and then bang you and never speak to you again, they are suddenly intriguing. Being a cook/cleaner must be the worst thing ever.

So this weekend taught me so many things. Never treat a girl with respect, because they will not find any interest in you. Make sure you bang as many things as you can because the better you are at it, the better they will like you. And never, ever let them finish first. Having sex is like running in a race. The faster you finish, the better off you are. But if you are a nice guy you will always finish last. In terms of relationships, life, and sex, it is better to always finish first. Because assholes finish first and when I do finally have sexual intercourse I will win because not only am I better than her, but "I am better than you."