People Who Buy Art Are Impressionable Assholes

There is one thing that I will admit that I am not good at. Overall I consider myself to be very well-rounded as I have an understanding of pretty much everything. I always say "I'm good at everything. I'm not great at anything." Maybe not the best mindset to have, but whatever. I can't draw. I couldn't draw if you paid me all the money in the world. I have difficulty drawing shapes. I don't know how to draw humans or even animals. When my family gets together over the holidays we always play Pictionary. No one wants to be paired with me because I can't draw for shit. Some of my work is actually on display in the living room because it's that poor. But who's to say what a good artist is? Frankly, I think they all suck.

I've only been to museums on class trips. They would take us to the fake dinosaur displays, the planetarium (my favorite), the gift shop, and last but not least, the art gallery. What the fuck is an elementary school-aged kid going to do in an art gallery? The teachers and chaperones would ask, "What do you think of this piece?" I think it's a piece of shit. It looks like the artist took a paint brush and splashed some fucking color onto a canvas. He or she clearly didn't pass kindergarten because they are way out of the lines. Then the teachers would give me a funny look.

But it wasn't just me that hated the art gallery. All the other kids in my class hated it too, except of course those slimy liberals. They would be enamored by the prestigious art work and applaud it for its creativity. But of course they were just impressionable assholes. I could tell them that that pile of dogshit sitting in the lawn in front of my house was art and they would probably pull out their camera and start snapping photos. And I say that jokingly, but one time I saw some dogshit and told them it was art and they started taking pictures of it. Idiots.

And now those same kids who were so intrigued by art in 4th grade are the same kinds of people who go to auctions and try to buy worthless pieces of paint. Think about it. Picasso is a well-known artist. He painted mutated versions of people on canvas and sold it to people. They bought it for cheap because it looked like shit. Then 20 years later, all of a sudden, his artwork was the greatest thing since sliced bread. People dropping hundreds of thousands of dollars on art. The reasoning was "the world wasn't ready for it yet." They weren't ready because it looked like this:

Can somebody please explain to me how this is art? As I mentioned before I can't draw. And it seems pretty clear to me that Picasso can't either. If you give me a paintbrush and a blindfold, I can either match this drawing or better it.

Art is interpreted by the person observing it. I can say that by using mundane and darker colors around the face, he was going for a general sadness. The bright colors at top signify that this person wants to be thinking positively, but the expression on their face says otherwise. Now prove me wrong. Tell me that my interpretation of the art piece above is wrong. You can't do it because there is no right or wrong answer. So would I be willing to spend $50,000 on acquiring this piece of shit? The answer is no because people who buy art are impressionable assholes. They have nothing better to waste their money on and are therefore stupid.

Whether it's the Medieval, Renaissance, Neoclassicism, Romanticism, Modern, or Contemporary I don't give a shit. Art is stupid. I respect people who can draw and that it's their creativity coming out and blah blah blah. But art is fucking lame and so are the people who like it. Don't tell me anything about art unless you're a museum curator. Otherwise, I will look at you like you're some piece of liberal shit who's just trying to fit in with the general public. Unless you're idea of art is Playboy, Penthouse, or Hustler, than I'm all in. But nobody looks at pornography magazines anymore. Thank you interweb. All conservatives can join me today in saying "I am better than you."