Let's Lay Off Of Casey Anthony Because Now You're Starting To Piss Me Off

So as it turns out, after a month long trial or however the fuck long it was, Casey Anthony was found NOT GUILTY of 1st degree murder. I've never seen such an outcry from people who have no involvment in the case whatsoever. Facebook statuses such as "Not guilty...unbelievable." "Way to screw up, U.S. legal system." "Even OJ knows she was guilty." How fucking pathetic of a human are you? How can you even begin to say that she is/was guilty? I'd almost guarantee that not one person I know has had any physical contact with the case or anyone from the jury. Or the attorneys. Or the child. Don't get me wrong. What happened to that little girl is a very tragic and disheartening ordeal. But let's not stone Casey Anthony to death because YOU think she's guilty. You are shit.

When you look at the case from an outsiders viewpoint, it's hard to imagine Casey being innocent. The night her daughter went missing, she was out clubbing and drinking and getting tattoos. Most normal people, all normal people, who've lost a child will be running around looking for that child until they collapse. I mean, it's your kid for Christ's sake. That's not a traditional way to respond to your daughter's disappearance. And when the media and police were asking her questions, she didn't seem too upset about her disappearance. From the outside it looked as if she was guilty and didn't give a fuck. But she was just tried and found innocent. Let's move on.

I didn't follow the trial. Not one hour, one minute, or even one second. It doesn't have any effect on me whatsoever and my watching it wouldn't contribute to anything changing. I don't have any children so I don't know the emotional charge I would get from losing one. But I could imagine it being really really difficult. Does that make me a piece of shit though? Because I don't care about the trial? We've taken on this idea in America that we must care about the celebrity. That's why trashy magazines like US Weekly, and Star, and People are booming. We must know what they are doing at all times. We must!

So just like OJ Simpson had the eyes of America in 94-95, Casey Anthony managed to attract all of our eyes in 2011. The only difference between the two is that Anthony wasn't an All-Pro running back who is considered one of the greatest of all time. Casey Anthony is a zero. A loser. A nobody. Somebody sold this story to the media at the moment it happened and it snowballed into something much greater. I don't know the exact numbers, but I'm almost certain that there are a boatload of children that go missing every single year. And I'd venture a guess that most of them end up dead. And it's really sad and devastating, but what made this story so important? I don't know.

In reality, I wish people would just relax. Instead of wishing her a cruel life and an eventual trip to hell, let's trust that the legal system was correct. Let's go on the notion that there was not enough evidence to convict her of 1st degree murder. I hate people who wish terrible, negative things on another. Who the fuck are you to hope that she rots in hell for the rest of her life? What if she really was only negligent and endangered her child? What if she didn't actually murder her? Will you take back all the harsh things you wished upon her? I doubt it because you're all hypocrites. Me included. Just like that fat fucking piece of shit Nancy Grace, who thought all the Duke lacrosse players who "allegedly" raped that prostitute were preppy, spoiled rich brats who get away with anything they want. Where was her apology after we found out that the prostitute lied? Nowhere to be found. But let's not crucify her. If she did actually do it, karma will strike. I believe it. But that's not for us to worry about. So stop fucking complaining about it. I won't because "I am better than you."

Angelina Jolie Went To Libya. I Hope She Doesn't Come Back

Today I read one of my favorite celebrity gossip sites/blogs much like I do everyday. In this case it was wwtdd.com. One of the featured stories listed today was about Angelina Jolie and how she went to Libya to be some sort of heroine. She talked to a bunch of the rebels or protestors or whatever and helped escort them to their native lands. She also helped arrange ambulances to take those who were hurt to hospitals. Bravo, Angelina. Bravo. You went to a foreign country in order to help those who needed it. Your goal was to educate the masses of the terrors of being in Libya right now. You are such a delight.

(Photo from Reuters)

I'm sick and tired of hearing about this liberal whore going around the world and essentially "saving it". You aren't saving shit, Angelina. All you are doing is being a lame ass "ambassador" for the United States and going to places that we just bombed. Job well done. But what were you really doing there, Angie? Attempting to adopt another child to add to your miserable collection? It's pieces of shit like you who think you are standing up for something right, when in fact you are just looking for the publicity. I don't know you personally so I can't say for sure. But what reason do you really have for going to Libya?

Just about as much of a reason as the U.S. did. The doofus in the White House finds it necessary to be a policeman of the world, much like his predecessor W did. And look where that left us. Our debt is in the trillions and our currency is becoming more and more devalued by the day. Unfortunately due to the travesty in Japan, who backs the dollar, we are looking at more inflation. And it's really sad because just as we should be doing all that we can to help in Japan, we have people in power who think we should be bombing Libya, invading Iraq, and setting up camp in Afghanistan.

And this all goes back to Angelina Jolie. She is the face of what is currently wrong with our country. Instead of doing what is right and helping to get us out of this recession, she's going to other places in the world that also "need help." Well of course they need help. Not everywhere can be America. Heliocentric? No. Patriotic. But what that whore needs to realize is that America isn't in the best shape right now either. Look at our economy. Look at the unemployment rate. What's wrong with our children, Angelina? Do you know how many kids are in foster homes in the United States? Why can't you adopt any of them?

I'm sure foster homes in the U.S. are in much better condition than, say, those in Guatemala. But that doesn't mean she should find it necessary to adopt a kid from there. There's more to being in a foster home than the condition it's in. The kids need parental figures who will treat them with respect. How many kids do you think get adopted here that get abused either physically or sexually by their foster parents? I bet it's a decent amount. Let's take care of our own before we try to go and save everyone else. That's what got us into the financial turmoil in the first place.

I'm not much into politics, but I do love this country. And maybe some of my facts aren't straight but that doesn't take away from what I feel. Our country is mired in such a cesspool of shit that I personally think we need to get squared away before we can try to save everyone else. It's impossible. So these dumbass celebrities like Jolie, Madonna, and Sean Penn should be working their tails off to get some shit done here. In the United States. The home of the free and the brave. Not going to Libya because we're the reason they are in danger right now. Let's mind our own business and fix our country once and for all. You should agree with me because "I am better than you."

Skype Sex Is NOT Safe Sex

Well well well, what do we have here? Some of you know what Skype is. Congratulations. The rest of you who don't, get your head out of your ass. Skype is an application you can download off the interweb and communicate with your friends or lovers or both. It's great because it eases the stresses of long-term relationships, like those who go to Spain, Ethiopia, or Turkey. But what you might not know is how dangerous skype sex actually can be. Put on your rubber because this one is about to get rough.

I know a lot of people who use skype (3 to be exact) and it appears to be here to stay. But to get back to my point. It's dangerous. Think about it. What if you don't have a lock on your door and you get caught masturbating? Not only do you have to defend yourself, but now you have to defend your partner. If parents know what their children are using skype for, I bet they try and time it to kill two birds with one stone so to speak. I have never been caught because 1) I don't violate myself like the rest of you goofballs and 2) All the people I skype with are guys and that would not go along with being a heterosexual.

Another thing. All these companies who design these webcams most certainly put in a device that allows them to see you. They have to. If I was manufacturing them I would because it's the right thing to do. So essentially everytime you are being inappropriate over the interweb, someone besides you is enjoying the show. It's pretty much the same thing as sexting because when you get a cool naked picture of somebody, the first thing you do is show all your friends. Again I have never had the pleasure of receiving one of those texts because I've never kissed a girl, let alone seen one naked.

I think as future parents, at least me because I am attractive enough to find someone to mate with, we need to go to the necessary measures to make sure this shit doesn't happen with our kids. We need to start sending out PSA's on the television, radio, and internet to tell parents to teach their kids the dangers of skype sex. It is essentially the same thing as unprotected sex because you aren't using condoms and that should be a crime. One day you're having fun, being naked on the internet, the next you're shooting out children from your labia.

Maybe skype sexing makes long distance relationships easier because you still have the luxury of seeing your person naked. Maybe it stretches the length of them. Either way it should be outlawed in these United States because nothing good can come from it. Soon we will hear that STD's can be transmitted via the interweb. In any case, you should be wearing a condom regardless because safe sex is great sex. All I know is you won't see me having skype sex because I make good decisions. Decisions that allow me to say "I am better than you."

42 Year-Old's Shouldn't Have Children And Neither Should You

Word has come out that star of 30 Rock, Jane Krakowski, 42 is preggers with her first child. Helllllloooooooooo. Well what the fuck have you been waiting for? You're 42 and just having your first child right now? And I know there isn't anything wrong with her eggs or vagina or whatever it is women use to get pregnant (I don't know I've never seen one). Because celebrities have a knack for getting the best shit around.

Look at Magic Johnson. That guy's had AIDS or is HIV positive since before some of you were born. Don't tell me that guy doesn't have some super secret high ass potency shit that's keeping him alive. I know he's one of the best basketball players of all-time, but he needs an "assist" from drugs. (Get it because he's like in the top 5 in assists in NBA History. You're supposed to laugh.)

So since celebrities can do some cool ass shit with their money, why couldn't this goofball shoot out a baby earlier in life? I know she was on that shitty ass television program 'Ally McBeal' and that probably setback any penis that was considering going near her hoo-ha, but that was like 14 years ago. Get over it and have a fucking child already. Next thing you know she's gonna pop out a kid with like three heads and six arms. I'm just glad I'm not that kid's daddy.

That reminds me of an argument I had with some college roommates. As we suffered through another shit episode of that "sitcom" 30 Rock, we discussed who we would rather fornicate with. Jane Krakowski or Tina Fey. Since my opinion is the only one that matters I chose Tina Fey. She's funny, smart, an excellent writer (like me), and wears glasses. That's like every guy who has ever watched porn's dream. Believe me. I know.

I think we ended up split as to who was hotter or sexier or whatever. But now, it's clear that Tina Fey is the correct choice. As if there was any doubt about it. Which leads me to the point of this very credible blog posting. Nobody reading this should consider having a child. And no, not because you're only 19-24 years of age. Or however old you perverts are. But because we shouldn't be polluting the Earth with more crap.

Don't you read the newspapers or Iamaliberal.org? Our country is hurting because of this so called "global warming". Yeah global warming. Go talk to Al "Dipshit" Gore about the global warming I am experiencing right now. Two feet of snow on Christmas weekend and another six inches or so today. And this global warming is causing the colder temperatures? What kind of chickenshit bullshit do you people believe?

So aside from being ugly, stupid, ignorant, and gullible you should refrain from having children because in all likelihood, they won't end up anywhere near as good as me. And I have one sole reason for that, because "I am better than you."