Girls Aren't Allowed To Be Sluts Because Guys Are Jealous

I had a very interesting conversation a couple of days ago. The whole conversation was centered around getting laid. Naturally I was talking with a girl because I don't have any guy friends because I'm a fucking weirdo. She brought up how easy it is for girls to have sex. Since I love to argue I tried to say no it isn't. And then I realized something. I was wrong. Yes. W-R-O-N-G. This was the first time in my entire life that I was wrong. Of course girls can have sex whenever they want. They have vaginas. If I had a vagina, a real one, I would be getting laid all the time too. But I don't and I don't. So how is that fair? It isn't.

A long, long time ago a guy was trying to have sex. He was an average looking man with a steady job as a carpenter and a nice shack. He didn't work out much, except of course when he was building shit. One day, after work, he went to the local corner to try and have some sex. He figured that he would meet a woman who was coming home from the river after doing her laundry. Finally when one arrived, the man told the woman that he wanted to have sex. She vehemently denied him and entered her home. The man waited outside her window until nighttime, only to listen to her having sex with what was assumed to be her husband. When the "husband" left, the man found out that the woman was not married. It was just a late-night booty call.

The next morning the man went running through the streets proclaiming that this woman was a slut and that she had sex with a man who wasn't her husband. Several other men ran through the streets proclaiming different women to being sluts. They were then banished to the corner, where they had to ask men for money for sex because now it was the only thing they were relied upon for. And it all started because one man was trying to have sex. The moral of the story is that guys are jealous of women because they can have sex whenever they want, whereas men have to put in some kind of effort. And when they do, we trash them by calling them sluts and whores because they should only being having sex while married/in a relationship.

If you didn't already know, I completely made that story up. The whole thing. Not one part about it was true. But it seems believable, doesn't it? While talking to this girl about getting laid she made it a point to tell me that she can get it whenever she wants. Morning, afternoon, night. Doesn't matter. Because the fact of the matter is, no matter what you look like, tall, small, skinny, fat, ugly, pretty, rich, poor, if you are willing to put out, you WILL find a guy willing to provide. But the same doesn't hold true for men. Take me for instance. I would love to have me some sex, but it isn't that easy.

I'm a decent-looking guy with a great personality. I like to laugh and make fun of others. When I'm not being a prick, I could have a decent conversation. The problem is, girls don't want to have some conversation when they're trying to get laid. They want to hook up with the best-looking, muscular guy at the bar. He could be the biggest piece of shit in the world, but if he's got that look he's good to go. Those types of guys are the only ones who can get laid whenever they want. But still not as often as girls. They truly can get it whenever they want with very little effort. That's why some guy a long time ago made it a point to say that girls can't have sex anytime they want, otherwise they will be considered sluts.

When it comes to sexual partners, the more a guy has, the cooler he is considered to be. The more partners a girl has, the sluttier she is. There is an absolute double standard when it comes to sexual partners between the two genders. I can't say for sure why, but my story before does make a whole lot of sense. Guys are jealous that they can't just have sex whenever they want so they label girls that do as sluts to lower their self-esteem and confidence. Only when it has been dropped so low do we then have sex with them. Almost like it's some sort of payback or something. So in the end, I guess guys win?

In my honest opinion, I think guys should experience women for who they are, not what they bring to the sexual table. Of course it's lovely to have sex every once in a while, but there are more important things out there than penetration. And I think the same for girls. You should only consider having sex with people you are generally interested in. I understand that one night stands happen, but it doesn't mean that I agree with it. And don't be surprised if I look at you with a little shame. It's just as easy to pass up sex as it is to have it. Guys are allowed to, but girls are not. That's just the way double standards go sometimes. If you don't agree, too bad. "I am better than you."

UVA, News Anchors, And Random Food For Thought

Today I feel lazy so what I'm going to do is post a story that one of my readers sent me. I will keep their identity private. Please be advised there is some pretty foul language in here. All the more reason to get a good laugh out of it. Enjoy.

Feb 2008
I was sitting outside Market One today eating my usual, only meal of the day, which consists of something along the lines of a Snickers bar and a couple of laxatives enjoying yet another shitty day in Harrisonburg. As always, I was checking out girls and rating them on my 1-10 scale and finding humor in their shortcomings. A couple fatties, some pretty hot ones. Then you start thinking about what kind of panties they have on, if they give good head and how beat up their vag is. I can always visualize a girl’s pussy just by looking at her. I have an innate ability to distinguish between a clop of shredded roast beef with guacamole sauce on it from a perfect little taco made by the crafty hands of a Spic. Suddenly, some stupid bitch with a video camera and a tripod walked up to me and interrupted. I was already fucking pissed at life, having to endure the fags of UVA the entire day before.
“Hey, my name is some stupid slut! I am from blah blah blah stupid liberal news station. I am looking to interview insightful students on campus about the NIU shootings.”
“Good luck with that,” I said because I was more interested in the visual of her naked that was in my head.
“What do you think about it?”
“Sucks for them,” still not listening or caring about a damn thing she had to say because she looked stupid.
“What do you think about gun control? Should people have the right to have concealed weapons on a college campus?”
At this point I am left to ponder some things: Why the fuck is she talking to me? Do I look like I care about anyone or anything other than myself? Is her vagina really as saggy and pwned as I think?
“Not psychos like him.” I continued to eat some laxatives. It is a healthy alternative to bulimia. She knows this so she is jealous. I just like the taste.
“Ummmm, could you elaborate? I would like to film you on camera so we can get an idea of what students on campus think,” said the stupid cunt.
“Well, I’m not trying to get shot by some loser who has no friends. Don’t be mad at me for your shortcomings. You shouldn’t watch too much Star Trek as a kid.” As I said it, she began writing my brilliant testimony down onto a notepad, but then she stopped. I’m assuming it was somewhere between loser and Star Trek that she wasn’t too happy about.
“Uhhh, can you be a little more insightful?”
“No.”
She walked away and interviewed some ugly girls next to me wearing their letters for some stupid ass band fraternity.

42 Year-Old's Shouldn't Have Children And Neither Should You

Word has come out that star of 30 Rock, Jane Krakowski, 42 is preggers with her first child. Helllllloooooooooo. Well what the fuck have you been waiting for? You're 42 and just having your first child right now? And I know there isn't anything wrong with her eggs or vagina or whatever it is women use to get pregnant (I don't know I've never seen one). Because celebrities have a knack for getting the best shit around.

Look at Magic Johnson. That guy's had AIDS or is HIV positive since before some of you were born. Don't tell me that guy doesn't have some super secret high ass potency shit that's keeping him alive. I know he's one of the best basketball players of all-time, but he needs an "assist" from drugs. (Get it because he's like in the top 5 in assists in NBA History. You're supposed to laugh.)

So since celebrities can do some cool ass shit with their money, why couldn't this goofball shoot out a baby earlier in life? I know she was on that shitty ass television program 'Ally McBeal' and that probably setback any penis that was considering going near her hoo-ha, but that was like 14 years ago. Get over it and have a fucking child already. Next thing you know she's gonna pop out a kid with like three heads and six arms. I'm just glad I'm not that kid's daddy.

That reminds me of an argument I had with some college roommates. As we suffered through another shit episode of that "sitcom" 30 Rock, we discussed who we would rather fornicate with. Jane Krakowski or Tina Fey. Since my opinion is the only one that matters I chose Tina Fey. She's funny, smart, an excellent writer (like me), and wears glasses. That's like every guy who has ever watched porn's dream. Believe me. I know.

I think we ended up split as to who was hotter or sexier or whatever. But now, it's clear that Tina Fey is the correct choice. As if there was any doubt about it. Which leads me to the point of this very credible blog posting. Nobody reading this should consider having a child. And no, not because you're only 19-24 years of age. Or however old you perverts are. But because we shouldn't be polluting the Earth with more crap.

Don't you read the newspapers or Iamaliberal.org? Our country is hurting because of this so called "global warming". Yeah global warming. Go talk to Al "Dipshit" Gore about the global warming I am experiencing right now. Two feet of snow on Christmas weekend and another six inches or so today. And this global warming is causing the colder temperatures? What kind of chickenshit bullshit do you people believe?

So aside from being ugly, stupid, ignorant, and gullible you should refrain from having children because in all likelihood, they won't end up anywhere near as good as me. And I have one sole reason for that, because "I am better than you."