I Fucking Hate Hipsters

Who decided that it was okay to be a hipster? From the dumb plaid shirts, to the 1970s porn star moustaches, to the skinny girl jeans, to the big fake black-horned rim glasses, finally to cases and cases of PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon). Everything that hipsters do is dumb. Essentially, they are the previous generation's kids who shopped at Hot Topic. Remember what kind of losers shopped at Hot Topic? They sold Marilyn Manson t-shirts, Pink Floyd trucker hats, and coffin backpacks. And these derelicts would go in, buy some spikes as their earrings, hair coloring for their mohawk, and other dumb graphic t-shirts. And they would go to school dressed like fucking idiots and call themselves goths. Then they would get made fun of and explain to the rest of us that they were expressing their individuality and people didn't "understand" them.

Here's what I understand. People don't like you because you suck. You suck big dick. You think you're shopping at Hot Topic to showcase your individuality, but what those idiots failed to realize was that they were actually conforming to the same ideology. Nothing about them was unique. I can see the same thing happening now across the populated parts of the country. Kids showing up to school, claiming they are artsy and how they have such a passion for music and doing liberal things like going to foreign countries and farming for them. Hey dick clowns, find something original to do.

Ever heard of the Peace Corps? You know what they do, right? They go to impoverished countries and utilize the resources in order to make that particular city more viable for the future generations. Going to do some farming work is NOT original, nor does it seem like a lot or any fun. And as far as I'm concerned, we have a lot of farms in America. A whole bunch. Why don't you work on those farms so we can eliminate the pesticides that farmers need to use to make the quota for all the product they have to move? All of our food can become organic and maybe obesity will drop because we won't be eating chemicals. You hipsters are liberals, aren't you? My idea should sound fucking brilliant.

I also never quite understood why it's such a big deal to like things that only you know about. Like the band, Vampire Weekend or some 80s synthesizing band. They've been around for a long time now, but since they've hit the mainstream a bit and "sold-out", they've fallen out of favor with the pussy-boy hipster crowd. I thought people liked things because they actually liked them? Who gives a flying fuck if everyone else likes it too? That should never change your feelings on something if it's completely unwarranted. That's clearly why people don't like hipsters. They've created this image that they are above and beyond everything and everyone else. Go fuck yourselves loser assholes.

And don't get me started with the drug use. As if these dickheads invented marijuana or wild mushrooms. "Let's smoke some pot." No Bill. "Let's do shrooms instead." Dope. Who the fuck do you think you are? Dope? Dope? That word was cool in the 80s. It isn't cool anymore. Stop trying to bring it back. These are also the same virgins that love watching Donnie Darko and trying to unravel all of its deep mysteries. That movie fucking sucks. Jake Gyllenhaal is a terrible fucking actor. Time travel is not real. Neither are talking rabbits named Frank. Stop analyzing that shitty movie and accept it for what it is: Shitty. You fucking pieces of shit are no better than anyone or anything because once again you conformed to society by not conforming. Your taste in things is awful as are your cutoff jorts (jean shorts). Grow up and be yourself for once. I've always been myself because "I am better than you."