I started writing the blog because of long-term relationship coming to an end. It was a really difficult time in my life because it meant so much to me. So much that I didn't know what to do with myself. So I started writing. The more I could get my mind off of her, the better for me. 99 posts later and now I'm writing for myself. Because I'm better than that.
A bout 41 readers a day is what I average. It started out around 80, 90, even at times hitting 100 in the day. I'm not quite sure if people got tired of reading my rants or if they just wait for the week to finish and read them all at once. Or they just unfriend me on Facebook because I pollute their newsfeed and stop reading altogether. Assholes.
M y first kiss was at the age of 18. 18 years old before I finally made out with a girl. Jesus Christ that was only 5 years ago. I've come a long way since then. I've been to strip clubs, drank absurd amounts of alcohol, drove to Kansas, got a job, and fell in love. I don't know if I could have dreamed of any of those things happening 5 years ago. But look at me. Continuing on the beat and path trying to excel some more at life.
B utts. And legs. Not so much boobs. What are parts of a female that I enjoy looking at? Ding ding ding ding! I was asked a very important question this weekend. "What do you find attractive on girls?" Well, I've got to be attracted to their face. They have to have a nice, big butt. And they most certainly don't have to be big-chested. Because with a big chest comes a big head and then you have girls thinking they are hot as fuck and could do anything they want. Sorry girls. Boobs are only nice sometimes.
E veryone pisses me off. I used to believe that I liked everyone. That I was a social butterfly. That being around people made me happy. But then I found out that I hate just about everyone. People do stupid shit that annoys me and always will. There are probably 20 people in the entire world that I could be around where I don't want to puncture my eyes and eardrums with a spear. Everyone else can suck it.
T here are way too many supporters of Obama. I can't be ignorant enough to say that George W. Bush was a good president. Because the truth of the matter is he was probably the worst thing that ever happened to our country. I'm a true Patriot. I love living here. If I could choose to live anywhere in the world, it would be the USA. But I don't like that our President spends his time on the radio with Ryan Seacrest and deems it necessary to go on SportsCenter filling out his college bracket every year. Do your job, Nobama.
T hings are finally starting to look up for me. It's been a wild 7 months. From the end of a friendship/relationship, to the passing of my grandmother, to the arrival of my best friend from Turkey, to several interviews to real jobs. Any day now I could have a full-time job and make some money to pay off my loans and get the fuck out of New Jersey. With a little bit of wishful thinking, maybe I can finally be happy.
E xtraterrestrials are real. I wrote a whole piece on how I believe in alien life and that if you don't believe in it, you must be some kind of moron. The universe is almost neverending and to think that we are the only living organisms is just plain stupid. I don't know if they've actually made it to Earth, but who's to say really? I just hope they don't take over the world like they did in The X-Files.
R onnie was the name of the first girl I ever had a crush on. Yep. Ronnie. Of course it was a boy's name. But she was a summer camp counselor at the Boys & Girls Club and she was the prettiest girl in the whole wide world. I was such a sweetheart as a kid too that she probably thought I was adorable. Adorable in the same way that her stuffed animals were adorable. But it didn't matter. I got to talk to her often. It must be where I learned to spit game.
T he most fun I ever had may have been in Kansas. The night started off with 7 of us. It eventually narrowed down to 4. There was lots of drinking, people getting shoved into pools with their clothes on, sitting in the back of a truck passing around a handle of Sir Francis Drake and watching the sunrise. It's weird how you can sometimes pinpoint one night as a really terrific fucking night. I could give you a play-by-play 3 years later.
H ave you ever eaten seafood? A question that I have been asked on more than one occassion. The answer is technically yes. I once had a piece of breaded shrimp in exchange for something. Since I'm not a total piece of shit, I'm not going to say what it was, but it was definitely worth it. I don't like the smell of fish, I don't like the texture of it when I feel it with my fingers, and yes I like to eat the same boring shit day after day. Sue me. I'm a boring guy what can I say.
A nybody who tells you "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is not a good movie, is somebody that you can't trust. Not only is it creeping up on my all-time favorite movie list, but it helps me feel better about myself for about 2 hours. There's just something about watching movies or television shows where the main character is moping around feeling sorry for themselves because they got dumped that tickles my pickle. Maybe I can relate.
N ever have I ever lied about something I wrote about. Ok, that's a lie. But mostly everything I write about in my blog are factual things. Things that I have either encountered in real life or thought about while lounging around being unemployed. Sometimes I lie because it makes the story sound a little bit funnier. At least I think it does. For example, I'm not actually a virgin, but you'd have to be a dummy to think that was any part truthful. Or is it?
Y . A. Tittle was a Hall of Fame quarterback for the Giants, Colts, and 49ers. I know a lot of shit about sports, music, movies, television, and all sorts of other trivia. In fact, I would say it's the only thing I consider myself to be great at. Knowing a shit ton of information about things that will never get me laid or employed. But at least I'm using my brain for something, right?
O nce I feel asleep while driving. I was in the middle lane of a major highway and I woke up in the left lane about 3 feet from the divider. That was probably the scariest moment of my entire life. Going about 55 mph on the highway, only to fall asleep and wake back up right before I would have crushed it. The windows were opened, my face was smacked, and then I made it home. Scary, scary shit.
U nion Station was the last place I was happy. The last two occassions I have been there have been for positive reasons. The first time I said goodbye, I thought it was only a temporary one. Things would have been a lot different for me had I known that would be the last time I'd see you. But no use dwelling on the past and things I can't control. I hope you are reading this. The other time was just this weekend. Seeing all of my friends at the same time and just being genuinely happy. But I know I'll see them again and I can only hope that it will be soon.
Did you learn anything new about me? Did you even care? I appreciate those of you who come everyday to read what I have to say. I even respect those of you who come once a week and catch up on everything. This is my 100th post and I'm happy to strive for another 100. Help make this blog the 167,785th most popular blog on Blogspot. Than for sure I will know that "I am better than you."
