My Final Posting

Well fellow blog readers, I have some terrible news. This post will indeed be my last posting. I started this blog in the beginning of January and made it to April. 56 posts later and here we are. Nothing has changed, nothing is different. I used this blog as a forum to help get over a relationship that was very meaningful to me. One that absorbed nearly 3 years of my life and it ended. Just like that. I was also having some trouble with my living situation and being unemployed got to me physically and mentally. You start to doubt yourself and things that you are capable of and fall into this depression. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't need that to happen, so I took to blogging.

What this did was allow me to write in a forum where I could say anything I wanted. There are no restrictions, no limitations. From my very first post about horrorscopes and how fucking stupid I think they are, to my very last post about the 2011 baseball season. I covered many topics and ranted about things I believe in, don't believe in, and everything in between. The support I have garnered from all of you who had read was truly remarkable and I couldn't be more appreciative. You truly inspired me to keep writing even if you didn't agree with a lot of what I was saying. Here's to you.

Since I don't want to end on an unhappy note I thought I would spend this last posting talking about some of my favorite posts and topics in general. Just most recently, the one-named celebrities was one of my favorites. I think I gave a good account of some of the most popular ones and added some hilarious commentary about why I liked or didn't like them. Plus the pictures were pretty sweet. Sting without a shirt. Prince in the fetal position. Superb. The Disney princesses was also pretty swell. We all thought about "doing them" so why not write about it. Instant classic.

Describing the existence of aliens took me from 6 to midnight. I love watching The X-Files because I'm a huge nerd and that show revolves around paranormal activity and extraterrestrial life. So trying to prove my point in showing how they were real was a personal fave. And how disgusting are people in our country? The post about Skype sex being dangerous gets hits left and right. People in our country are genuinely concerned about whether or not it is safe to do. Of course it is you fucking idiots. What could possibly go wrong besides someone walking in on you? As if they don't touch their private parts. But geez Louise, stop being so God-damned perverted.

It was also really hard for me to open up the way that I did about my relationship. All my friends knew how I was feeling and members of my family saw what I was going through. But to put it in a public forum for the world to see showed a lot of growth on my part and what I think was some of my best writing because it was so emotionally charged. The best is that it was a steady stream of writing. No pauses to collect my thoughts. It just came all naturally. That's why I think that may have been the best post in terms of quality and emotional appeal. Thanks to you February 17.

In closing, I'd like to reiterate my thanks to all of you who read the blog on a consistent basis. I got my inspiration from my former roommate who is doing some really great things in Ethiopia right now and blogging about it. If you don't know what the web address is I will provide it to you right now: waidsworld.wordpress.com. It seriously puts my blog to shame because the quality is so much better and he's a genuinely good, nice person. Again thank you all for the continued support and I hope that we can speak again soon. Until then...

APRIL FOOLS!!

You fucking morons! Did you actually think I was going to stop writing? I haven't even begun to emphasize the thousands of ways "I am better than you."

The Artist Formerly Known As Lindsay Lohan And Other Famous One-Named Celebrities

And so, over the weekend, actually I believe it was Friday, Lindsay Lohan decided to drop her surname. She will officially be referred to as "Lindsay". The reasoning her publicity team gave was that there was so much negativity surrounding the name Lohan. Some people think back to her father, Michael, who appears to be the grandest of pieces of shit walking the planet. You might also think about her mother Dina, who clearly is a money-hungry whore who could give two shits less about her daughter. But never in their press release did they make any mention of Lindsay getting 12 DUI's or 6 arrests pertaining to the possession of cocaine. Clearly, she still is not at peace with herself and must blame her family for her dumb ass behavior. Fuck you Lindsay.

But what this did for me, more importantly, was to compile a list of all the best one-named celebrities to ever dominate Hollywood. So now I give you the pleasure of providing the best of the best one-named wonders.

Bono - If this isn't the best picture to describe a total douchebag, then I don't know what is. Yeah, maybe deaf people enjoy his music as a member of U2, but anyone with a knack for quality music knows this asshole hasn't made anything good since The Joshua Tree. Great humanitarian you are, Boner, I mean Bono.

Prince - What would this list be without the most putrid musician of all-time? I've had numerous arguments with friends and strangers over the course of my life, discrediting his heterosexuality. Now I have nothing against those who are homosexual, but please don't undermine my intelligence by telling me he has sex with women. I know it's not true. And his Super Bowl halftime show a couple of years ago made me want to puncture my eardrums.

Cher - DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER LOVEEEEEEEEE?

Sting - Humma Humma Humma. Easily the best musician of those I have named thus far. The Police is a super talented band and have produced some of the best songs ever. "Roxanne", "Don't Stand So Close To Me", "Every Breath You Take", and many more. And not only does he bang models and other hot people, he was mentioned on an episode of Friends, t.v.'s second greatest sitcom ever produced. And last but not least, he has the distinction of getting confused with a professional wrestler. Sting used to be the best with his colorful facepaint and the Scorpion Death Lock, an obvious play on Bret Hart's more credible Sharpshooter, but I digress. Sting is the Don.

Beyonce - I'm not racist or blind.

Yanni - The ultimate insult when you were in 6th grade was to call someone Yanni. It might also hold that distinction today.

Seal - Seal did something for me that no other person can come close to. He boosted my self-esteem and confidence off the charts. I don't give a shit if he writes personalized poems to Heidi Klum every morning when they wake up, this is one ugly motherfucker. If he can marry and re-populate the Earth with his seed with one of the best looking supermodels of all-time, I am capable of anything. I have to admit however that "Kissed By A Rose" is a great song to lose your virginity to. Fact.

There you have it. My list of all the best one-named celebs in the history of the world. In the next 20 years when someone is compiling the next list of best one-named celebs in the world, I have a strong gut feeling that Lindsay Lohan, excuse me Lindsay, will not be included on the list. And as a matter of fact that list won't be nearly as good as mine is, because you already know "I am better than you."