The Royal Wedding And Other Things That I Give Two Shits Less About

As of this writing, the most important pop culture spectacular has yet to occur. But since you read these exciting publications when you should be working, it will have already taken place. I'm talking about the Royal Wedding. You know, the one with William and Kate. The prince and the commoner. I went to Wal-Mart today to get my passport photo taken and while I was waiting around for it, I ventured to the books/magazines section. And what do I see staring right back at me? A magazine dedicated to the extraordinary life of Kate Middleton. Jesus fucking Christ. I could give two shits less.

I don't give a shit about what people think about me. I'm pretty sure if you have ever come into contact with me, you understand that. I say whatever is on my mind and with no qualms whatsoever. If you don't like what I have to say. Fuck you. If you don't like me because I'm too vulgar. Fuck you. If you think I'm too offensive. Fuck you. You get the idea. I've come to realize after 23 years of existence that you're going to come across people who don't like you no matter what you do. You can cater to them, be friendly, give them the shirt off your back, and they still won't like you. So fuck them.

I don't give a shit about what you have to say on your Facebook status. Every afternoon when I wake up, I turn my computer on, read up on espn.com, and then I click Facebook. People who narrate their entire lives on Facebook are the devil. Nobody gives a shit about what you have to say. I don't care that you just had the runs because you ate an old Greek salad. I don't care if you're going to the hospital to get some bloodwork done. I don't care if you quote actresses that have been dead for 50 years. I don't care. Stop interfering with my newsfeed and pissing me off simultaneously.

I don't give a shit about whether or not Obama was born in the United States. Yes, it says in the Constitution that every president needs to be a natural born citizen. What the fuck does that mean anyway? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the president of our country needing to have been born here, but at the present time don't we have more important issues to be thinking about? Like how our unemployment rate is hovering around 9%? How that goofball in office promised to pull our troops out of Afghanistan/Iraq, yet we still have all of them there? Let's stop making a big deal about his birth certificate and concentrate on how to improve our country.

I don't give a shit about cats. In fact, I hate them. I'm allergic to them. I think they're ugly. I think their tongues with the texture of sandpaper is fucking retarded. Who needs to self-cleanse themselves? Jump in the fucking tub in your house, stupid cat. You'd think they'd try to clean themselves properly instead of licking themselves. What a stupid fucking breed of animal. Anybody who likes cats more than dogs deserves to be homeless. (Cough Anna cough. It's okay you can stay living in your apartment)

There are a lot of other things that I don't give a shit about, but I think you've gotten the point by now. The Royal Wedding is just another publicity stunt to divert our attention away from the actual relevant problems we have in the world. And yes, maybe it's grandiose for all the girls who grew up wishing they could be a princess and are envious of Kate Middleton because she gets to live that dream in the next couple of hours. But Kate Middleton is a lot more attractive than any of you will ever be and that's why she's marrying the prince of England. So go back to running on the treadmill trying to lose those last 3 lbs. to make you a size 12 instead of a 14. Go back to eating the Big Macs and French Fries that make you hard to look at in the first place. But don't think for one second that I don't hate you. Because I do. And it's only because "I am better than you."

Being Gay Is Okayyyyyyyyy

On a sidebar, we finally hit 3,000 hits friends! It only took me 4 months, but we made it. Thank you all for continuing to read my bullshit on a day-to-day basis. Let's try and get the word out. Facebooking, Tweeting, reading it with your mom. Whatever. More readers will only help the content. On that happy note, since I've been on such a roll the past week, I wanted to delve into a controversial topic. Homosexuality. Yep, right here in black and white. How do I feel about it?, people would sometimes ask me. Here are my thoughts.

As I have mentioned numerous times before in other blog posts, my grammar school only had 12 kids in my grade by the time I graduated. 10 boys and 2 girls. There's clearly a reason as to why I turned out the way I did. But I was very sheltered at that school. There were no blacks, hispanics, asians, gays (at least that I knew of). I was stashed away in the annals of time wondering what else was out there. Then I made it to high school. And my oh my did things change. I was meeting people from all sorts of different backgrounds. It really opened my eyes.

One of the first people I started talking to in high school was gay. I didn't know it until nearly the end of high school, but nonetheless he was gay. Once I found out, it didn't change how I felt about him. He was still a normal person to me, we just had different tastes. Which is why I don't understand tv shows that frequently show males freaking out once they find out their friend is gay. I never liked or disliked someone because of their sexual orientation, especially after I had already become friends with them. You become their friend because you like them as a person, not for any other reason. So the high school television drama needs to cut the shit because it isn't realistic at all.

(Teddy kisses boys now)

Now that I have made my way around life I've come to meet a lot of different people. And I know quite a few gay people. It doesn't make me uncomfortable to be around them. But I'd be lying to you if I said it didn't make me feel awkward to see gay people making out in public. But that's not because I'm a homophobe. I don't like watching anybody make out in public. There's a time and a place for it asshole. But I also have to admit that watching it unfold on a tv show such as "90210" makes me uneasy. I guess it just doesn't feel right to me. But who decided what is right or wrong anyway? Piece of shit society.

Which brings me to my next point. When those idiot pilgrims left England in search for new land where they could bring their own religious beliefs, they landed at Plymouth Rock. Centuries later we had our own freedom to do anything we wanted. The Constitution was written partly to separate church and state. Yet, as far as I know, it's illegal to have same-sex marriage in a large chunk of the United States? Why is that? Because in the Bible it says that only man and woman are to wed and bear children? I thought we separated church and state. A very good friend of mine mentioned how divorce rates are sky-high in heterosexual couples. Why not give the gay community the rights they deserve and let them bring that number down a bit? At least let them try.

Lady Gaga is a huge advocate of the gays. My roomie in college showed me this video and I couldn't stop laughing. Not at the message she was trying to send, but the way she went about sending it. See for yourself.

All in all, being gay isn't a crime, nor should it be treated as one. I will keep my doings private as much as I'd like them to keep theirs private. I also don't think they all talk with lisps and like girly things. But that's just from my personal experiences. Maybe one day it won't be such a big deal to be a homosexual, but as for right now that day hasn't come. And to be honest, it's a real shame. I think all people deserve the right to be happy and do as they please. But one bad apple spoils the bunch, so to speak. I don't have an issue with the gays, but you already knew that because "I am better than you."