I once received a text message on my phone sometime during the 2007-2008 school year. The text read "I can't stop thinking about magic." It was from a friend of mine, the same friend who found it necessary to camp in our apartment watching shitty movies on HBO because he didn't want to pay for cable. And heck, I never minded walking into my house to see him sitting there watching anything. His presence alone ensured a fun time. One day he saw a video of David Blaine on Youtube, and magic became a new fascination that would only be quenched once it was fully mastered. These next 3 weeks were beyond entertaining for me. (P.S. He really thought this was David Blaine)
It all started with card tricks. Finding the 4 Jack's who robbed the bank, or throwing them at the wall and holding some Ace was what I became accustomed to. I didn't get to see any of those lame quarter behind the ear tricks or doves flying out of hats. It mostly started and ended with card tricks. Once he got comfortable enough, he took his talents on the road. The road meaning our next door neighbors apartment. Four girls, 2 of which had boyfriends. But really nice, cool down to earth chicks. Time for the magic show. He performed his patented two card tricks and did them well. I think they pretended to care. I was in awe.
After that show was when magic really took over. I received a text message at 5:14 am stating the above message. I knew it had engrossed him and wouldn't stop until it failed. The true test would be if it worked at a party. Get a girl really drunk, show her some magic tricks, and see if her panties will drop. But we had one problem. Our master illusionist was in a long-term, committed relationship. There would be no panty-dropping. So we settled on watching the 'The Prestige' with Christian Bale on repeat. I never found out if magic tricks worked on drunk chicks. That is until today. I'm taking up magic.
I spent the early portion/my whole day going to local magic shops finding a cape and top hat that fit me perfectly. I went to a pet store and bought one of those albino-looking rabbits. I went to an animal rescue in my town and asked if they had any doves. They didn't, so I captured some pigeons in my backyard. Spray paint will work, won't it? I bought trick cards, trick coins, a wand, cups and balls, and last but not least, a Criss Angel DVD for beginners of magic. Since you already know all my secrets of how I became so good, don't be disappointed when I show you the neat tricks.
None of my friends respect me or would have sex with me, so I thought the next best thing to do would be to create a posting on Craigslist. In my posting, I wrote that I am an executive magician and that I can make a girl's panties drop with one flick of my magic wand. Whether they want to dive deeper into that and assume my private part is a wand is entirely up to their discretion. Otherwise, I showcased a picture of myself and my contact info. Not five minutes had passed before I received a phone call from a girl asking me to come show her some of my magic tricks. I simply had to oblige.
So I drove down about 25 miles from my house to this girl to show her some magic. I clearly didn't think this through because I don't know this girl at all and it could actually be a perverted man looking to have his way with a stellar young adult. Fortunately for me, it was a decent looking girl and my magic act began. I showed her several tricks, 1 or 2, until she told me to come up to her room. At this point in time if you have believed anything happened from paragraph 3 until now, you clearly are entirely too gullible. The only thing that drops girl's panties is her low self-esteem. That and a picture of me because "I am better than you."
